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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
[The right answers...]
Since young, we have been taught that there is a "right answer" in almost everything we do. A-B-C is correct, B-A-C is not. 1-2-3, not 3-1-4. When we were in primary school, the "right answer" was getting into EM1. After primary school, the "right answer" was to get into the Express stream in secondary school. After that, JC. After that University. Get a good job, find someone, settle down, have kids, and live happily ever after.
While it may be true while studying - there really is a "right answer" to most things then - it is not so much true once you leave school and enter the working world. There are no "right answers" anymore. Only what you're comfortable with.
Perhaps it is because there are "right answers" for the majority of my life so far...So much so that I don't know what I'm comfortable with. While I have a general idea of what I want, I sometimes wonder if this is really what I want. What do I want? What am I "supposed" to want? I don't know. I don't always have the answers.
I'm going on a holiday in December. I'm not a seasoned traveler and all of my trips abroad so far have been packaged tours. It is easy enough to plan for the trip if nothing goes wrong. But what if something goes wrong?
What if the plane was delayed, and we end up late at the villa and they thought we "no-showed" and gave our villa to someone else? Where are we going to stay, then? What if the return flight is late and we got stuck in a foreign country with no plane ticket? What if a similar thing that happened in Europe with the volcano ash happened in Indonesia and we end up getting stuck there for god-knows-how-long?
Okay, I suppose the second example is a little extreme. You can't plan for every single contingency in life, and I don't intend to. I'm just so used to the concept of the "right answer" that I always second-guess myself, wondering if I've covered all bases. All reasonable bases.
Maybe I should just heck it. Just do the best I can, and learn from my mistakes when things fall apart. That's one way. There aren't any "right answers", isn't it? This might work for small things like an overseas trip, but not for the major decisions in life. Make a major life mistake, and there may be no coming back from it.
For those major decisions, I still don't know what the "right answers" are.
I never really liked talking about my problems. At least, I don't think I did. I'm not sure. Some people feel that it's good to get things off their chest. I always thought that while that might feel good for a while, the problem still exists. It doesn't solve anything. Of course, your listeners might offer a different perspective, but sometimes they don't. Because they don't know the context of your problems, all they really want, for all you know, is for you to stop bitching.
Which is why I like writing about it sometimes. It clears my head, and gives me a fresh perspective. Sometimes, after writing, I realise it is really not that big a deal.
Things have been moving along quite well in my personal life. A bit faster than I expected, to be honest. I have been in a very muddled state of mind about it for a while, and writing about it now makes me realise that there is really only one question here that needs answering (see, it really works). It is a question that needs to be answered. Immediately.
Things are complicated at work. After waiting for so long, I finally decided to do something about my situation. The moment I decide to do so, things change...Or looks likely to change at work. It's too early, but I am not looking forward to making a decision. And this is one aspect which I have almost no control over. I just have to see what happens next. I hate this. Not being truly in control of my own fate.
Actually I was wrong. I do talk about my problems. Mostly with my sister. But lately, I find that I have less time to do so. I have to divide my time between her, my girlfriend, and work. We had a lot to talk about in the past. But now, I find that it is difficult to talk to her about stuff.
It's not very nice to discuss girlfriend issues with her. Such issues should stay between me and my girlfriend. It's very difficult to discuss work issues with her because she doesn't understand the context. Ironically, the best person for me to discuss work issues with are my colleagues, but I can't let them know what's really going on, what my game-plan is.
I think I'm slowly losing my confidant. And maybe even my mind.
I think I am only getting the last installment of the $9,000 NSmen payout.
Boo.
^^^ by Locksley @ 9:02 PM.
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Monday, August 23, 2010
[Life is complicated...]
I graduated from NUS in Dec 2007. I find that my life has gotten a lot more complicated since then.
I like to think of my life in three aspects - my personal life, my work life, and NS. They are sort of like Venn diagrams...Sometimes they overlap. But I do my best to make it such that they are three distinct circles.
I had some issues to resolve in my NS circle and I'm done with them. For now. I've completed my IPT so I wouldn't need to think about it again until after my next birthday. I wanted to achieve something else as well but that looks like a lost cause. Whatever. I can forget about this circle for now and in any case, I only need to deal with this for five more years.
Work. I haven't found any purpose in my work for a while. Not really happy nor motivated doing what I'm doing right now. Things look like they may change, both from within and from without. It is one big mess...Thinking about it makes my head explode.
Personal life. Things are moving. Really moving. Sometimes I'm not sure if this is even what I want. You know how when you're a kid and your parents bought you the toy you wanted? The moment you walk out of the toy-store, you see another kid with a better toy and now you want that instead. Yeah. It's like that.
Sometimes I just feel like disappearing for a while. To a place where no one can find me. Where it's just me and my computer. Let me relax for a while, before I sort all these things out.
^^^ by Locksley @ 8:43 PM.
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Sunday, August 15, 2010
[Not as good as I thought it'd be...]
I signed up for an Annual Pass at mio Stadium. Not the TV service which has received nothing but complaints since it started. I'm talking about the website.
I did it a few days ago and thought that it was a good service. It allows you to watch live on your computer Channel 102 on mioTV. When I signed up, my understanding was that I would be able to watch all the live matches, and the replay matches on-demand.
I was wrong.
The reason is simple...The website shows only one channel. There is usually more than one football match going on on a Saturday night. If the match you want to watch is not shown on Channel 102 (the channel which they are streaming live on mio Stadium), then you're out of luck. While there are several live football channels if you sign up for mioTV so you can choose the channel/match that you want to watch, there is no such option in the online version.
I did not realise that until today. I should have. But I didn't.
I'm not sure how much this will impact me, though. The reason being I am usually out on Saturday nights so I would most likely be watching the replay match on-demand on Sunday mornings anyway.
Still, it's a shitty thing to do. They should offer all their live football channels for streaming and not just one channel.
^^^ by Locksley @ 1:23 AM.
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010
[Bits and pieces...]
Waiting for an email, which never comes. Every time I log into my account, I see the number of new email messages. Every time the Inbox loads, I am disappointed.
I don't really like to talk about my problems. I never understood why some people love talking about theirs. All you'd do is bring down the people around you, and nothing changes and you go back to your shitty situation.
I think I need a new job.
Getting a flat of your own - shouldn't that be a citizen's right? Especially one born and raised here, and who served the country for two years?
How did it turn into a lottery? What the hell happened?
We closed our eyes and things went to hell.
^^^ by Locksley @ 8:44 PM.
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Wednesday, August 04, 2010
[Service excellence...]
After I posted my previous entry, a representative from eNets emailed me to assist with the issue I mentioned.
I must say, I am very impressed with their proactive approach. Such level of customer service is unheard of. The closest thing I have encountered was when Creative replied to me on Twitter when I mentioned that I was thinking of upgrading to the new ZEN.
It is stuff like this that really differentiate the faceless companies we deal with on a daily basis.
^^^ by Locksley @ 8:20 PM.
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Monday, August 02, 2010
[eNets suck!]
Due to eNets' website's incompatibility with Firefox, a ten-minute task turned into a one-hour task.
I would rant about it more, but the cough syrup I took is starting to take over. Time for me to hit the sack. I wonder if I would have those "fever dreams". I tend to have them whenever I take cough syrup.
Of course, after watching Inception, dreams have a whole new meaning to me now.
^^^ by Locksley @ 10:25 PM.
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[How silly can one be?]
I saw something today on the bus that made no sense whatsoever.
This woman got on the bus, got a window seat, and proceeded to try to take a nap. After a while, she took out a set of crumpled newspapers from her bag, held them in her left hand, and used it to block her face. I can't really tell why she's doing this. The only thing I can think of is that she was trying to block the sun from shining on her face. Except that the skies were grey and there was no sun.
This woman is trying to take a nap. What makes her think that she could hold up the newspaper AND nap at the same time? Just as she is about to drift off, she would drop the papers and get woken up and the cycle would repeat.
It's so illogical, it's beyond belief.
^^^ by Locksley @ 6:52 PM.
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