Friday, June 27, 2014  

[Bitter...]

Back in 2004, just before I completed my National Service, I started having backaches on a regular basis. I was young then and recovered from each episode fairly quickly, and had no other symptoms.

Over the years, I started having them on a regular basis. Sometimes, they would get so bad, I could not stand straight. I didn’t know it then, but I tore a disc in my back and part of it was sticking out.

I continued going about my normal activities. Going for ICTs, taking IPPTs. I remember the pain I would be in after each IPPT attempt. I believe it was due to the impact of the SBJ. I would not be able to stand properly for a few days after that.

I did try seeking treatment. When I was in Uni, I went to a Polyclinic to get it checked out. They took an x-ray and found nothing amiss. I now know that back problems like mine cannot be seen on an x-ray. I remember it was a junior doctor, guided by a senior doctor, who handled my case. The senior doctor could not be bothered at all, and from his tone, I think he did not believe I had a real problem. Probably just there to waste their time.

I lived with the constant backaches for years. 80% of the time, I would be in pain, ranging from very bad to just slightly uncomfortable.

Finally, about three or four years ago, something happened that prompted me to get additional treatment. I was outside and felt a very sharp pain in my back with every step I took with my right leg. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. The pain was so intense and I didn’t know whether it would stop. It was one of the few times in my life when I was genuinely afraid. Luckily, the pain went away after about five minutes, and I could walk normally again.

I went for an MRI after that which confirmed the torn and slipped disc. Mystery solved. I was downgraded by the SAF.

All’s well that ends well? Hardly.

It was after confirming my condition that I started feeling bitter about a lot of things.  To this day, I’m not really sure who or what I am angry at. Perhaps at the situation. Maybe at the system. I don’t know. Let me explain.

When I was in Uni, I’ve worked with countless foreign students. Truth be told, at an individual-level, they are not that different from us. Some of them are smart, some are not so smart. Some are nice, some are bastards. Really, they’re not that different from us.

It was from my conversations with them that I learned they (at least the ones I spoke with) already had a University place back home. They were invited for a test, those who passed, was offered a place in the Universities here, tuition fully paid for, and they would get an allowance to boot. They were obliged to work here after graduation for a number of years, but as far as they knew, there was no way of enforcing this.

What about me? I spent two and a half years of my life serving the nation and had the darken skin and scars to show for it. I was dead broke, having to apply for financial aid to get through my three years in University. My lowest point was when I had no money on me, had only $3.21 in the bank, and could not buy something to eat when I was out. Upon graduation, I owed the bank and the University (oh, you thought the financial aid was with no strings attached?) over $20K. I didn’t know it then, but I also had a pretty severe back injury that I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

Doesn’t seem fair, does it? Why did the system treat outsiders better than the very people born and raised here, the very people who sacrificed their time and health for this country? Why?

And that’s not all.

When I learned of my condition, I was in the private sector. I subsequently changed jobs and went back to the public sector. Upon joining, the rule then was that I could not take medical leave for pre-existing conditions. While this seemed fair at first, to me, it means I was not allowed to take medical leave for an injury caused by the very same system. Of course, I recognise that for all intents and purposes, having only gone for the MRI about eight years after I was discharged from the Army, it would be hard to link this back to my time there, even though I am 100% sure I suffered the injury during my time there.

I was angry. I didn’t know at what. The situation, maybe. Or the system. In any case, I felt that it wasn’t fair.

Shortly after, the rules changed, and they allowed taking of medical leave for existing conditions. We still can’t take extended medical leave for existing conditions, but at least I felt this was more fair.

But this wasn’t the end of the story. No. Because of my existing condition, I had to be reviewed by a doctor every year. I just had my review, and it was an utter and complete waste of time. The doctor did not ask to see any documents, and it took him all of ten seconds to come to the conclusion that I should be checked again in a year’s time. The bill is footed by the public service, but the time spent is mine.

What’s the point of going for a medical review if that’s all the doctor’s going to do? Am I supposed to take time out of my life every year to do this? Over, and over again? Is this fair to me? Clearly, no. Who should I be mad at?

I’ve recently gotten my flat from HDB. One of the things that most flat-owners would purchase is an insurance plan for the mortgage payments. In the event that one party dies or is physically incapacitated before the payments are completed, this insurance plan would pay off the outstanding loan.

My wife’s policy has been approved. Me? They’re asking me to go for a medical check-up, before they could process my application. This insurance is administered by the Government, and my injury was sustained during service deemed mandatory by the Government. Surely, anyone could see the irony and how it must feel for someone being in this situation.

Yes, I’m bitter.

^^^ by Locksley @ 10:07 AM. 0 comments.
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