Saturday, September 13, 2008  

[Worst ever...]

It's been a while since my last wrestling-related post. I haven't had much to say about wrestling...But I saw Unforgiven a few days back and I honestly cannot believe how bad Mark Henry is.

You would think that after so many years in the business, he would have picked up a few decent moves. But no, he's crap. I used to think that Kevin Nash was the worst and most boring wrestler ever but now I think Mark Henry deserves the distinction.

From my observations, wrestlers generally don't use the same move more than once in a match. If you do, it means you have either run out of ideas or have a limited repertoire.

Mark Henry has a grand total of three "wrestling moves". I used quotes because the three moves are really shit anyway and I don't really consider them wrestling moves.

First, the bear-hug. First, on Chavo.


Next, on Matt Hardy.


Finally, on Finlay.


The guys who came out before him worked a very decent match and really had the crowd going. When Mark Henry came in with his bear hugs, he basically killed the crowd. WWE fans have never been as loud or vocal as TNA or Indy fans, but the silence was deafening. Matt Striker tried to sell what was going on by saying that the "fans were in awe". I think the fans either fell asleep, took a toilet break or went to the concession stands.

Are you ready for Mark Henry's second "wrestling move" of the night? I don't know the name of this slam that he uses, but I believe it's a very old type of move that, as far as I know, no one else uses anymore. Not because it's old, but because it's really shit.

He picks The Miz up....


...and then basically falls down. I like The Miz, by the way. He's hilarious.


He then proceeded to execute the same move on Chavo twice. I told you, he's got no moves and has run out of ideas.





So much for Mark Henry's first two moves. His last move, is something that requires no training and anyone could do it and make it look good. Then again, no one uses this move because it's so shit.


A splash. A fucking splash.

Honestly, if he ever goes to TNA or the Indies, he would get booed out of the building. Learn some fucking moves.




I'm at page 79 out of 553 of Bret Hart's book and I must say, it's hard to put the book down. I usually read before going to bed and this book has kept me up later than I should have stayed up.

Despite how he came across on TV, Bret Hart was no saint. Then again, most pro-wrestlers had "complicated" lifestyles.

Can't wait to get back to the book.

^^^ by Locksley @ 12:06 PM. 0 comments.
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