Random thoughts of a Disturbed Mind: Do you know where you're going to...?

Friday, June 15, 2007

[Do you know where you're going to...?]

Earlier today, during my driving lesson, I drove past the camp I was in when I was an NSF. My unit has since moved to a new compound, so the old camp was empty. Just sitting there, empty as can be.

I was trying hard to keep my eyes on the road, but from time to time, my eyes would drift over and glance at my old camp. The guard-room, where I spent so much time during guard-duty. The sentry post, where I stood and watched the cars along the road use the allowance at the entrance for U-turning. The parade square, where we spent so much time practicing and taking part in one meaningless parade after another...Where we would service our vehicles, during which you can tell who your real friends were.

The vehicle shed, in the distance, where our armoured vehicles parked. I lost count of the number of times we had to go over early in the morning to prepare the vehicle for outfield.

As I drove on, my instructor asked me to head for this roundabout to practice my turning. I can still see my camp from the turnabout. In fact, I remember vividly the times when I was a prowler during guard duty. We would walk around the perimeter of the camp and when we were at the other end of the camp, we could see the roundabout from high above. I would feel terribly homesick at this point, looking at the flats near the turnabout. Sometimes a feeder bus would turn at the roundabout and I wished that I was on it. Just a normal person, like everyone else, on my way home. But no, I wasn't. I was on the outside, looking in. I also wondered why they built a roundabout...there. Never did I ever imagined that I could be turning a car around it, over and over again.

Singapore is a small country. You can never really leave a place behind, seeing how there's a good chance you'd pass by the place again in the future for some other reason. My family moved from Woodlands to Bukit Panjang when I was 5. As luck would have it, my ex lived behind the block I used to live in Woodlands. I haven't been back there since I was 5. I still remember some of the landmarks around the area. Some of them are no longer around. Some have changed. Few remained.

I remember having a torrid time with my studies when I was in secondary school. Back then, if you didn't get into a JC and then into University, you're considered a failure. At least, that was what I thought, thanks to the influence of less-than-opened-minded sources. Now I pass by my secondary school whenever I go to NUS and ~~nightmares~~ memories of my time there came flooding back. Most of them were not very good. Maybe it was my studies, maybe it was my rebellious phase...Or maybe it was just....Teenage angst. Being a teenager was tough. No matter which generation you were from.

I had problems with a particular teacher of mine. Don't we all? Singapore is a small country. I always thought that maybe one day, it'd be my time and I could have my "revenge". Yeah, that's just how I am. Unhealthy, but that's me. Pretending to be anything else would be a lie. Anyway, as I've said, Singapore is a small country. I never got my "revenge", but I know for a fact that what goes around, comes around. Singapore really is a small country. And yes, I realise I've said it a lot.

Actually, when I said I'd see my secondary school everytime I went to NUS, it isn't really true. There are two different ways for me to get to NUS. I'd see my secondary school on one of them. The other, I'd see my primary school. And yes, lots of memories too. So many things I did back then...If I could do it all over again, I would have done differently. A lot of my classmates have moved on and achieved a lot in their lives thus far. Me? I haven't been all that different since secondary school.

I'm in a rut. I need to make some changes. Once I get back from ICT, I'd probably think long and hard about my life and do some adjustments. Oh yeah, ICT for the next two weeks, expect less updates.

^^^ by Locksley @ 9:18 PM. 1 comments.
[Read Comments] [Post Comments]

[Comments]

Nostalgic isnt it...lol. A few weeks ago, I meet up my primary sch friends at AMK. Our old hang out place, Long John Silver is now K-box. The A&W across is now Banquet.

It's true that everyone will want to go back and do things differently but looking back at that moment, no one has any idea of what the outcome would be. Every decision is made based on the best possible solution believed to be, in those circumstances. (Make any sense?....lol) For me, I'll learn from it, move on and prepare myself for the next task.

I always admire people who stay true to themselves which is why I treasure our friendship deeply and (You're gonna think I'm crazy after reading this) I'm thankful for the government or else I wouldnt have met u...lol.

Heard this from one of my friend which I totally agreed. In my own words: To not live miserably, look for the positives that come out in every situation no matter how bad the situation is. If you're able to let go of the negatives, life will be more joyful.

^^^ posted by Estan @ Sat Jun 16, 01:04:00 PM.

[<---Back to Main]

RSS

Tweet tweet!

Broken for now. :( If anyone knows of a good way to display tweets without using Twitter's awful looking widgets, please let me know. Preferably something that allows me to retrieve my tweets in plain-text format.

What's this about?

Anything and everything under the sun. I write about my day, my thoughts, things I see in public, things to get off my chest, or sometimes just some senseless rants that make sense only to me.

About Me

30 year old male. Always with too many ideas in his head and too little time. For my 15 minutes of fame, I want to be a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman.

Interests

Movies, TV, cycling, computers, planted tanks, cherry shrimps, P2P legal issues, Manchester United, WWE, TNA, UFC, etc...

Disclaimer

Best viewed @ 1280*1024 or above. Views are expressed are mine and mine only, and are not meant to offend or influence anyone. Designed for readers with a sense of humour. If you can't laugh at yourself, you probably won't like my style of humour.

Archives

2003
December
2004
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2005
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2006
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2007
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2008
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2009
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2010
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2011
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2012
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2013
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2014
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2015
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2016
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December
2017
January February March April	May June July August	September October November December